100 Hindi Jokes by GyanPost

Ek Aunty Coke pee rahi thi, Tabhi usme ek Keeda gir gaya…  Aunty ne us keede ko bahar nikala, to keeda bola: Maaaa  Aunty boli: Tune mujhe maa kyun kaha?  Keeda bola: Kyunki Main teri Koke (कोक) se Nikla hoon, Maa ! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 1 Molvi aur Pathan ne Samandar ke kinary Board dekha jispe likha tha"DOOBTY KO BACHANY WALY KO 500 ka INNAM"MOLVI: Main jump lagata hun tum muje bachana is tarha 500 milenge hum fifty fifty ker lengy.Ye keh kar Molvi ne jump laga di.Pathan Khamoshi se daikhta raha to molvi ne chilla ke kaha:"Muje Tairna nhi aata tum mje bachate kyun nahi?PATHAN: Tum ne board ke neeche nahi parha, neeche likha tha"LAASH NIKALNE WALY KO 2000 KA INAAM":D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Kambal Aur Razai ko karo Maaf, Cooler Aur A.C kar Lo saaf, Paseena chutega Din aur Raat Ab Bina Nahaaye Nahi Banegi Baat, Apne Nature Mein rakho NARMI, Meri Taraf se Aapko Sabhi ko....... "HAPPY-GARMI" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped. The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. "The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. Australia 's smartest woman took my schoolbag. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Science kehta hai k pani boil karne se germs mar jaate hain….. . . . Par science ko ye nahi pata k germs ki dead bodies to pani me hi reh jati hai…. . . “kasam se bachpan se hi genious hun, lekin kabhi show nhe kiya”;) :D :D :D Santa:"Life Me kitne bhi Dukh mile Gam mile apne aansu bah jane dena unhe rokna mat.. . . . Banta:"Kyu yaar...:/ . . . Santa:"kyu ki ruke hue pani me hi Malaria wale maccharande dete hai...:p :O :D :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx In engineering exam a question came A parrot sits on an elephant and the elephant died. Prove it. . . . . . Engineer answer: assume that elephant name was parrot and the parrot name was elephant...:p;) :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Santa knocks the door .  Banta:kaun hai ?? .  Santa:mai hoon .  Banta:mai kaun ?? . . . . .  Santa:le abe pagal khud ko hi bhool gaya tu :p xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A man for post of Security Guard was interviewed:"We want someone with a suspicious mind, always on high alert, wanting to attack, strong body, high sense of hearing & most importantly Killer instinct.! Do u think u are eligible?"Man:"No Sir! But can my Wife apply? :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Passenger : how dare u put hand in my pocket>:O  Santa : i wanted match box8-| Passenger : u cud have asked me>:O  Santa : i dont talk to strangers !! 3-|:p xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx HOSPITAL ATTENDENCE: LANGDA Present Sir, KANA Present Sir ANDHA present sir, MENTAL MENTAL : : : : : Beta status Baad Me Pad Liyo, Teri Absent Lag Jayegi...;-) :D :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ek kanjus k ghar mehman aaey hua y thay. Kanjus: Thanda peo ge ya garam?. Mehman: Thanda. Kanjus: Rooh Afza ya Pepsi?. Mehmaan: Pepsi . Kanjus: Bottle mein peo gay ya glass me?. Mehmaan: Glass me.. Kanjus: simple glass me ya design wala?. Mehmaan: Design wala. Kanjus: Lines wala ya flowers wala. Mehman: Flowers wala. Kanjus: Gulaab wala ya chambeli wala. Mehman: Chambeli wala. Kanjus: Sorry Yaar hamaray ghar me aisa glass nahi hai..... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ek raah chalti ladki ko dekh kar santa bol... . Kya aap mujhe pehchanti hai.. . Ladki- nahi mai nahi pehchanti... . Santa- ji mai wahi ho jisko aapne 2 din pehle b nahi pehchana tha... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Effect of Facebook... . Teacher:"Batao Parle-G par Jo Green dot bana hota hai Uska kya matlab hota hai.. ?? . . . . Student:"Sir iska matlab hai KiParle sahab abhi Online hain..:p xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Kya aapko pata h duniya ka sabse pehla jahaaz kahan uda tha . . . Janiye is chhote se break k baad. . . . Surf exel-daag achhe hain.. . . . Rupa front line-raho sabse aage. . . . . . Asli masale sach sach- MDH, MDH . . . Washing powder washing powder nirma Nirmaaaaaa . . . . . . . Laila ko karna tha impress majnu ne khai minto Fresh. . . . . Hi handsome Hi handsome Hi handsome fair and handsome cream for mens . . . . . . . Rahiye na bekhabar dekhiye fir khaas khabar ..Aaj Tak . . . . . After 15 min - Welcome Back to -- my show - - - Duniya ka sabse pehla jahaz "Hawa" me uda tha..;)::D:: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rajnikant Garba ki Raat Dhol Baja raha tha.. . . . . Thodi der Baad ek Alien Dharati per Aaya aur Bola . . . . . . Bhai Mere Bete ka kal Exam hai, Thoda Dheere Bajaa...:/:p :O :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Agar Jackie Chain Ki Mother-In-Law Kidnap Ho Jaye To Use Kaun Vapas Layega? . Guess? . . . . . Vicks Vapourub...! Kyunki Vicks Lautaye Chain Ki Saas:p xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx In Rockstar-'toote hue dil se hi Sangeet nikalta hai!!'.... . . . . . In exams-'chhute hue chapter se hi Questions nikalta hai!! :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx What will be the ad for Petrol in Year 2020? . . . . . . Buy 10 liter Petrol&Get 1 Tata Nano free…!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Aansu tapak pare berojgari ke us ehsaas se gaalib.. . . Jab maa ne kaha beta khali baitha hai ye le matar hi chil de.... Hahahahahahah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gawaar : Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai. Salesman- Hum Gawaaro Ko Koi Chiz Nahi Bechte..Gawaar After 1 Month clean Shave ... &hair cut, : Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai.. Salesman: Hum Gawaaron ko Koi Chiz Nahi Bechte..Gawaar After 1 Month Full angrez banke: WHAT'S D COST OF THAT TV?? Salesman : Hum Gawaaron ko Koi Chiz Naahi Bechte..Gawaarr Gusse Me: Tujhe Kaise Pata Chal Jata Hai Ki mai Gawaar Hu..? Salsman: Q ki Ye Tv Nahi "MICROWAVE"Hai.....:o xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Munna bhai: "Circuit, agar bus pe tu chade, ya fir tujpe bs chadJaye 2 kya hoga"!! Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket apani hi kategi.hahahaha  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ek 5th class ka bacha Bill Gates ko letter likhta h Sir,Mujhe Kuch Sawal Poochne H ... 1. Keyboard K Letters Sahi Jaga Nahi Hen, Keyboard Ka Sahi Version Kab Ayega? 2. Windows Main START Ka Button ... Hy, STOP Ka Nahi 3. Hum Ms-Word Use Karte Hen, Mr- Word Kab Release Hoga? 4. Keyboard Main ANY KEY Ka Button Nahi to Computer Q Maangta Hy? Aakhir Main ek Zati Sawal 5. Aap Ka Naam GATES Hai To Aap WINDOWS Q Banatay HHogaya na Bill Gates ka Bheja Fryhahahahhaha 

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